Weekly Article: How Do I Find and Create Goodness for My Children? by Susan Weber

In difficult times such as these with environmental disaster of almost unprecedented

scale and concern about friends and others in Japan at the forefront of our thoughts, it is

not easy to feel the goodness in life.  In an external crisis, our urge is often to listen and

see the news and to share our feelings with other adults.  As a consequence, it is easy

for the children around us to be exposed to things that they cannot understand, to

become fearful about situations they will never see and cannot change even if we think

that the media or adult conversations are not attended to by the children.  Even preverbal children can sense profoundly the distress in our inner being. 

But nothing brings stamina for life and daily well being to our children more directly

and strongly than surrounding them and immersing them into an atmosphere of

goodness and joy.  For us as adults, the message they seek from us is this:  ―I am happy

to be alive, I am interested in the world around me and I want to find a place for myself

within it.‖  Children are born with an openness to meet what their lives will bring. 

Despite their individual destinies and challenges, this openness is present and as the

adults in the child’s world, we have tremendous potential to cultivate this openness.

For the child just beginning life, there is one single mantra that needs to guide those

early steps and years:  the world is good.  No other belief will carry him forward through

the tumbles and stumbles, through the mysteries of his encounters with confidence and

eagerness.  Without this overarching rainbow of trust in life around and above them,

children shrink back into themselves, lose the shine in their eyes, forgo the impulse to

experiment, to see things as the adults around them never have, to imagine new

solutions to the simplest experiments – piling blocks, washing a dish, dressing

themselves upside down.  The world is good – and therefore I enter into it, explore it,

wonder, stop and look, touch, encounter, meet what comes to me with interest and

growing confidence.

Fear paralyzes children — it reverses children’s natural gesture of trust, openness, and

interest in the world.  To develop in any way – cognitively, emotionally, physically –

children need to be able to enter easily into life around them.  They need to feel

welcome, and above all, safe.  For who of us is able to take risks, try new things, when

we have a question about the safety of our surroundings?

There are times when circumstances beyond our control create uncertainty or worse for

our families.  In addition, we could also say that our times are, in fact, uncertain times. 

At the same time, however, our children are just beginning their lives.  We owe to them

their birthright: the world is good and I am grateful and happy to be in it.  It is a safe

place for me to grow in.  And later, much later, I will be able to take on its pain and

burdens.  But give me time, peace, and space in which to discover the goodness in life

for myself, in which to grow strong, capable, brave, and enthusiastic for life.  Protect me

from the challenges of adulthood until I am ready.

How can we do this for them? 

• We can protect them from information that they cannot comprehend or digest -saving our adult conversations for later, turning off televisions and radios in their presence.

• Give them the strength building elements of rhythm, form in daily life, predictability, that reassure them of the goodness and security of each day.

I was once told that young children are very good observers, but poor interpreters.  I,

and many parents as well, have found this to be true.

Whether it be the large world and its sphere of difficulties, political situations near and

far, our professional work and its daily challenges, our own personal frustrations,

angers and fears – young children are not able to interpret any of these. None of these

are a suitable menu for young children who cannot digest it.  It all then goes inside of

them to then be expressed in ways that we ourselves may not correlate with what they

might have heard, for information about these realms of life will often bring anxiety,

nervousness, fear, withdrawal, sleepless nights, or aggressive behavior.

As the adults in their lives, we have the possibility to stand there beside the children

with confidence for life offering them a model for imitation.  We lead them out into our

world: we walk alongside them.  We have seen much, experienced much.  It is an

amalgam of joy, of pain, suffering, discovery, celebration, disappointment – and at

times of fear, questioning.  All these experiences and feelings will have come to us by

the time we reach parenthood.  As adults, we have tremendous freedom to explore

these feelings, to reflect upon our own experiences.

If we as adults listen to the outer world as it often presents itself, how do we then find

our own paths to believing confidently in the goodness of the world?  It is of utmost

significance that we strive toward this belief, for our children look to us for signals, for

images of where to begin seeking their places in the world.  They imitate our deepest

inmost feelings and beliefs, and these carry them far as pillars of strength when they

require it.

Take a walk, find your way into nature, hold deep in memory the most recent good

thing we have encountered.  Begin and end your day with gratitude for the good in our

lives – however challenging this may feel at moments.  Pick a tiny bouquet of

wildflowers or seasonal things from the nature just outside our doors – the wonder of

one snowdrop or crocus in spring bloom emerging through the receding snow, a single

acorn, one brightly polished apple – each of these can remind us of the wonder and

miracles of the universe.  Look up at the stars in the heavens, and ponder the miracle

that all over the earth human beings are united by experiencing the same starry heavens

above them.  Find a poem, even if you have never thought of poetry as your interest –

just a few lines – copy it onto a piece of paper and put it on your refrigerator.  Recall a human relationship that has helped you along your way.  And see if, step by tiny step,

you can rediscover, in difficult times, that the world truly is good.

Rudolf Steiner offers us a verse that can bring us strength in difficult times:

Steadfast I stand in the world

With certainty I tread the path of life

Love I cherish in the core of my being

Hope I carry into every deed

Confidence I imprint upon my thinking.

These five lead me to my goal

These five give me my existence.

© Susan Weber   Sophia’s Hearth Family Center  March 2011

Weekly Article: A Video on Media and the Young Child

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Dear Community Members,

As we move fully into our year together and start to look with fresh eyes at the growth and capacities of the children we continue to meet the challenges that media can have on our young children.

Please join us this Wednesday Oct. 17^th  at the Parent Study to discuss more the effects, alternatives and power of media.

Sincerely,

Lisa Bono
Faculty Chair

Another Note from faculty member Meaghan Witri:

For our community here at New Amsterdam, it can be helpful to look at how other Waldorf schools approach the topic of media in their schools and communities. At the Marin Waldorf School they created a video that expresses their perspectives on media exposure during the childhood years. Perhaps it will provide useful context for our ongoing conversation around media and the effects it has on children.

Here is their description: "Learn more about Marin Waldorf School's approach to media through this short film. Our experience, as a school and as a movement, is that popular culture, especially as expressed through various forms of media, overwhelms children's thinking and imagination. We make a conscious effort to quiet pop culture and media awareness in order to make room for the development of intellectual curiosity and a healthy and authentic sense of self. Waldorf education strives to awaken a children's excitement and enthusiasm for learning through a curriculum rich in academic and artistic expression."

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New Amsterdam Media Statement

Children and Media

Some parents have concerns about the “media policy” of Waldorf schools and find limiting media exposure to be difficult.  This is particularly so if their child otherwise wants their attention while the parent is attempting to do something else, like respond to emails or cook dinner.  This is a common issue among parents with very young children. 

Children are remarkably flexible creatures and can easily become as used to having the TV, iPad or computer off as they may have become to having it on.  They are excited by their own capabilities, which they can only discover through their own active play, and not by watching a video that often renders them “numb” and “glued” to the device.  Television, videos and computer games are a barrier to creative play because they present the young child with fully manifested “shows” that leave no room for the young mind to contribute.  If we seek to support the development of our children’s own initiative and creativity, we need to limit anything that dampens the discovery of their own abilities, imaginative powers, and enjoyment.

For purposes of this statement, “Electronic Media” includes television, movies, computers and all other video and audio devices, including cell-phones, personal digital assistants, video games and music/mp3 players. The scope of this definition may well change as media technology and its applications evolve.   Care and judgment also should be applied to permitting exposure to other forms of media, including print media (newspapers, magazines and catalogs) and radio (news and recorded music).

At the New Amsterdam Early Childhood Center we seek to support parents in striving towards these ideals of encouraging children’s play and freedom.  We recognize that our world is media-rich and parents may find it hard to be 100% “compliant” with this approach.  Working together we support each other within the classroom and at home.  Feel free to talk to your teacher, the school admissions director or the school faculty chair if you want help with free play and weaning your child from media.

Weekly Article: Sweet Dreams by Susan Gray Weber

SWEET DREAMS

Susan Gray Weber

We have all heard it said that the morning is wiser than the evening; and certainly have been advised to sleep on a question, or dilemma, or a challenging life decision. But in truth. sleep in our time is an elusive gift. We are a culture of the sleep deprived, the sleep obsessed, often drugging ourselves into sleep and again, in the morning, drugging ourselves to conscious awakening. We live in a timeless time in which one can live daily life all through the night: working, shopping, exercising at the gym, communicating via fax or e-mail. Night and day are intertwined and confused; the traditional picture of the rhythms of the cosmos - the rooster rousing us with his cock-a-doodle-do, the farmer at work with the rhythms of the suns rising and setting are unfamiliar to most of us. And we, on the other hand, are pummeled with the model of technology - the machine that needs no rest, the pressure that if we only tried harder, we human could successfully mimic the machine and work ceaselessly.



And so we are confused, and our children are confused, and we are all tired! We learn early on, as new parents, what a large task it is for our children to learn to wake and sleep in an earthly, fulfilling and restorative rhythm. We gently cradle the baby in our arms, rocking or singing a lullaby, trying to guide her into sleep, but this is no easy task. How confusing todays world must be to the little one: darkness is not quite complete, with electric light shining brightly; activity rarely ceases in our homes; we adults may work at night or at day, or even a little of both. And so, the child is offered so few natural cues, and imitation of us as adults in our daily rhythms is not a natural support, either.



At the same time, sleep is crucial for the infant and young child, a time during which it is developing its body with all its might. If day time is over filled with sense impressions, the child will be affected not only in the effort of going to sleep, but throughout the entire night, and we know well how greatly the night itself affects the day to follow.



So - what can we do for our children, to offer sleep as a gift to receive comfortably? Our first task is to examine our own relationship to sleep. How do we feel about it? Do we feel guilty for sleeping, or anxious about the effort of falling asleep, or do we carry a confidence in the goodness and healing of sleep, happy and relaxed as we approach our own bed times? Do we have a sense for the transition between day and night, for the qualities of the evening, that special transition time? Perhaps the first step will be to develop a fresh relationship to sleep and the night within ourselves, one that is confident and positive, recognizing that we must not feel sorry for our children that they must let go of the day and sleep, but rather, feel grateful for the day that has passed. Then our children can feel this as well.



Secondly, we can create a picture of the environment of sleep. To sleep well, we all need quiet, warmth, and a feeling of protection. For the child, this might mean a special soothing canopy or veil over cradle, crib, or bed; a wool or quilted sleeping sack, or a cozy hot water bottle. For the infant, or in some cases even an older child, swaddling creates this sense of protection. Eating also relates to sleep, as the liver takes up its restorative work in preparation for the day to come, and wants to rest from the act of digesting heavy foods. Thus, a heavy meal in the evening can disrupt our sleep.



For our children, a living, dependable ritual for bedtime that is unwavering creates this sense of warmth and protection as well. First, we put all in order by tidying away the playthings of the day: now it is time for the dollies to be tucked in, the cows to go into the barn, the toy train to park at the station. We can prepare for the morning by laying out the clothes. Then perhaps comes the bath, then the lighting of a candle and a story, finally concluding the day with a poem or prayer and a kiss. Our calm, centeredness as parents can work miracles at this moment! This is not the time for recorded lullabies or stories or songs, but rather the moment to send our children to sleep with the loving human voice of those who love the child most dearly as the last sound.



It may be helpful to observe as carefully as possible: how many impressions can this child tolerate during a day in a satisfying way? How can we arrange the childs day to limit the impressions to this manageable quantity, being ever mindful of the quality of the impressions? For it is the rhythm of the day that creates the support for the nights sleep. It is often observed that an overtired child will have difficulty sleeping, but that the more a child sleeps, the more he will sleep! Sweet dreams!

SUSAN WEBER is the Director of Sophia's Hearth Family Center. She brings many years as a Waldorf early childhood teacher, public school teacher and administrator, Waldorf early childhood training coordinator at Antioch University New England, and adult educator. She has completed advanced training at the Pikler Institute in Budapest, Hungary. 

Weekly Article: What Is A Well-Balanced Child? by Nina Kaufelt, New Amsterdam Parent

What Is A Well-Balanced Child?

A Note from Nina Kaufelt

Here’s a discovery: children who struggle with learning and attention often have vestibular trouble—trouble with balance! Isn’t it something to find that the well-balanced child is, in fact, well-balanced?   (Note to parents: In adults, trouble with balance is associated with anxiety. Isn’t it something to discover that the composed and poised adult is, in fact, well-balanced?)

Balance is maintained through three systems: the visual, vestibular, and biomechanical.  The eyes tell your brain a lot about where your body is.  (“Watch your step!”) The vestibular system uses proprioception,  the body’s way of telling the brain where the body is in space.  (Close your eyes and raise your hand; proprioreception tells you where your hand is.) The biomechanical system includes the ankles, knees, and hips. Responding to information from the brain (both visual and vestibular), these actors tweak your position to keep you upright.

Sally Goddard-Blythe has explained  the connection between balance and learning and offers a treatment.  Not long after conception, the healthy baby develops a series of primitive reflexes, many of which have been discovered and named. Those who know newborns know the Moro or “startle” reflex.  Scare the infant, and his arms fly up in a U-shape, as if saying, “Catch me!”  The sucking reflex is connected to the grasping reflex, as any nursing mother who has felt those little kneading fingers knows. Together, the reflexes have many purposes: turning in the womb to be born; safety; comfort; forming a foundation for more mature movements.

In time, most reflexes are then “integrated.”  They are no longer involuntary, but they do not entirely disappear. They can now be recruited as needed for controlled, voluntary movements directed by the brain.  In this phase, the body and brain establish a new kind of cooperation.

In some children, however, the primitive reflexes remain, and this can cause trouble.  Consider balance.  The presence of retained primitive reflexes affects all three systems responsible for this critical skill.  One also finds primitive reflexes in children with sensory issues (aural, visual, or tactile) and those with learning challenges.

The treatment is movement!  Trained therapists in the UK, Australia, Asia, Mexico, and (recently) in the US take school children through certain steps designed to integrate the primitive reflexes.  According to Steven Dubin, who teaches this program, children who practice these moves can benefit in all the realms where retained reflexes have caused them to stumble.  The right moves can enhance neurological development; soothe sensory distractions; and remedy learning-related issues, such as the visual tracking  necessary for reading, or the good posture necessary for good handwriting.

For more information:

The Well-Balanced Child by Sally Goddard-Blythe

www.SallyGoddardBlythe.co.uk

In 1996, Sally adapted and extended clinical research on reflexes to create therapeutic exercises for schools, especially for children with learning difficulties.  Thousands of teachers in the UK, Germany, The Netherlands, Hungary, and Poland have learned the program, which has also been independently studied. Two practitioners of this therapy in the New York Metro area are below.

Steven Dubin
performancediagnostics@gmail.com
973 653 6077

Paul Stadler 
otpt747@aol.com
347 247 6835

© Nina Kaufelt, March 2012